this is another lame talkin to myself entry

can i fail my fyp?
fark
cant believe i am actually considering this
someone please slap me
after that, you can help me to do my fyp as well
thank you
no i am not kidding
yes i am serious

my hair is not red enough..
nwc said so...
pig headed boss said so..but actually he always criticise me..so i dont care ahahhahaha
even my mom said so...
but..i think its okay mah~
i'm a down to earth person okay??
*slience*
never mind..
i think i'm falling into the "talking to myself" mode
shit i'm feeling sleepy
anyway..i went to the bank again
one customer gets 1 set of red packets..
but i got 5 !! why?
its one of my secrets
anyway..i also got no money to give...so what's the use of having so many red packets...haha
i spent another 3 hours at NUH
just to have an 10 mins x rays and 10 mins of conversation with my doc
and it costs me 66 bucks
consultation fee is $45.00

doc : hey you're here alone today?
mad : umm ya...
doc : *examines my xray * so madelyne, how old are you now?
mad : 19 ? um yea 19... reaching 20?
doc : good...
mad: so how is it doc? did my condition worsen?
doc : well...its still the same.. degree of the curve is still the same... i think its stable
mad: oh thats nice
doc : yeap...you are discharged! no need for further check ups!
mad: huh sure? meaning i can go backpacking? i plannin to go nepal in april
doc : just go lah ..get on with what you want to do...go go
mad: okay doc ! thanks !
doc : nice day mad *smile*


that costs me .... 45 bucks~
.....
now u tell me...
how to go nepal like that??????
how come i gotta handle bills and bills like that?
i am still a student...an average student with no regular income
where are my human rights?
where are my student rights?
*slience*

anyway i think i'm suffering from energy crisis
i read this article from one of those health magazines
1) do you wake up every morning feeling even more tired ? yes...
2) loss of sleep? yes....
3) are you getting forgetful nowadays? yes...
4) do you find it hard to focus or concentrate? definitely~
5) sudden weight loss? alright..
6) loss of appetite? alright..sometimes

oh yea...last reminder
please pay 45 bucks for the prom night tickets before 31st jan
if not the price will go higher~~ buhahaha

Hangloon ~ go for the prom night lah
rg... dun act shy ...

for once i want to be selfish
for once i made a very unreasonable request
for once i clearly want to make myself feel renewed
i want to have an adventure of my very own


quote of the day:
you will get over whatever is meant to be gotten over

thank you =)

i'm stuck in another phrase now
i manage to sleep early last night..
but then it happened...
an awful dream that just took the rest of my night away
so ...should i go to sleep?
i'm just being a coward now
shit

i just realized my appointment is on 28th NOT 29th...
no more xrays..

i got to make a trip down to dbs again...

my pc , router is being retarded..
the store which i bought my pc from....is now closed down...
great...

pimples keep coming out
great...

i need to go running soon
when??

* confession*
i'm losing hope in my fyp...
i cant get started
i cant get it moving
i just cant focus
melvin tan is probably gonna degrade me by this time
sigh...
no way i wanna ruin my future...
... i need help

thanks hang loon
for trying to help me with my pc and router
and of course , making me laugh
=)

asia most eligible bachelor wannabe .. yea i get your " indian man" joke
haha..

i hate having bad dreams
great...
now i am too afraid to go back to sleep
i dont want to be a klutz

Oh its tuesday

so many things on my mind....
time slipped through quietly
these lyrics shall do the talking for me

this place is so empty my thoughts are so temptingI don't know how it got so bad sometimes it's so crazy that nothing can save me but it's the only thing that I have

if you believe it's in my soul I'd say all the words that I know just to see if it would show that I'm trying to let you know that I'm better off on my own

Her feeling she hides Her dream she can't find She's losing her mind She's fallen behind She can't find her place She's losing her faith She's fallen from grace She's all over the place

I'm weak, it's trueI'm just scared to know the ending Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?

What can I say, something 'bout my life I just lost again

All this time, how could I know Within these walls, I can feel you

i don’t wanna think about you Or think about me Don’t wanna figure this out

my hair is now red
i want to add much more obvious red streaks on my fringe
i give myself some pampering today
maybe i dont deserves it
maybe i do

*sulk* pimples keepin appearing on my face
...
i feel like skipping lessons...
bury myself in the my own world
and maybe then i might start doing my fyp...

sunday lazy day - end of open house 2005

when i was in sec 3 , i got into the netball team.. i thought i was in the team
so anyway , the netball girls were so bitchy.. you can even feel it..
i got a sensitive nose you see, so when i go near them , i just start to sneeze non stop ..okay i'm joking.. but i just hate them. i hate them even more when they start to increase their vanity level and do those backstabbing acts. Till now i'm still wondering why i joined the team in the first place.
after 6 months, the netball coach said i was just a regular student who hangs out with the team
right in front of my form teacher and discipline master. OLD HAG --> yes i still remembered clearly. That sickening twisted smile she had on her face. But she was willing to let me in since i need a cca. And i replied coolly i rather die than go near those highly


Ngee ann's Open House 2005 finally ended
3 days evolved around with songs, gossips, money and laughters
now and then , troubles arise ..all because of money
so anyway , did i mention i like the open house t-shirt?
oh yea, the e-card was kinda cool i suppose
but it would be better if the card doesnt bends that easily
they put shuhui's picture on the card *whistles*
spent all the 10 bucks on ade's stall
and i think they deserves to win the e-cup
stupid TanHK .. i make sure you pay $75 instead of $45 *evil laugh*

Three things that scare me :
1) lizards
2) dead dogs
3)

Three people who make me laugh:
1) collin
2) reflection ( yea i entertain myself often)
3)

Three people i love :
1) my family
2) zr ( i'm pathetic)
3)

Three things i love :
1) my freedom
2) money
3) travel

Three things i hate :
1) things dont go my way
2) feeling helpless and pathetic
3) losing my cool

Three things i don't understand
1) what is life
2) why must we work for money
3) " nothing is impossible"


Three things on my desk
1) handphone
2) cds
3) papers

Three things i'm doing right now
1) writing this
2) listening to yahoo radio
3) playing with photoshop

Three things i want to do before i die
1) travel... must visit venice
2) base jump / bungee jump
3)

Three colors i love :
1) white
2) blue
3) black.. can i put the fourth one?
4) maroon

Three things i can do
1) sleep
2) dream
3)

Three things i can't do
1) sleep without waking up in the middle of the night
2) figure out the problem with my desktop pc
3) find the motivation to do fyp

Three things i love to do RIGHT NOW
1) punch the shit out of someone
2) sleep
3) kill msn messenger

Three things i love to listen
1) a walk to remember OST
2)
3)

Three things i hate to listen
1) lies , excuses
2) kids whining
3)

Three things i say the most
1) orh
2) Huh? what?
3) what the hell....

Three places i love to hang out
1) kinokuniya
2) swimming pool
3) esplanade

Three beverages i drink regularly
1) water
2) milk
3) strawberry yoghurt drink

Three of my absolute favourite food
1) cheesecake
2)black pepper crabs
3)l

..lights off .
crap..i need to get start on fyp soon...
i got no motivation..sigh...

so bloody pissed now
i think i just throw all the accounts work back
i am NOT UNDER YOU
GOT IT ?
and i dont want last minute changes
go press the calculator yourself
u this sickening liar