on the other hand

i rather have a memory loss

oh please..
flower pot
metal pan
sofa set
laptop ( i dont mind! let it be an ibook )


just fall on me !
but dont ruin my face
let me suffer from amnesia

loss of memory would do me some good

i must be MAD
to be cursing myself

but..
i'm mad
isnt it?

*point finger*
u
all your fault for raking up unhappy past
cmon cmon
guys are the heartbreakers
not the girls

hmmmmm
i shall be a heartbreaker next time

in case you dont know
i'm pretending to be strong

i hate love
i hate love
blah
no lah i dont hate love
love and i are only accquaintances

c'mon mad
pull yourself together
*yawn*
whatever

Friday night

last day of the week
i ought to be happy isnt it?

irony thing is
i feel pretty much lonely tonight
i was ready to work overtime

" eh why dont you go home now?"

wow..she's telling me to head home
amazing

i'm reading a blog
its gonna make me cry
quick~ someone fetch the bucket
not too bad huh..i can make a joke out of myself
*sob*

argh...
i want to.....








i'll guess i just keep everything to myself
drown myself in the books
drown myself in the running
drown myself in the swimming pool ( oh sorry i cant..i can swim)
drown myself in icecream
drown myself in peanut butter
drown myself in cycling
drown myself in shopping..( wah cant.. i bought enough stuff for this month)

why do i worry so much?
damn it

i miss everyone
i miss my smile
i miss my old home

damn it

good night

Dogs

i love my dogs
especially when we are playing catch
especially nike cuddles up to me whenever i sit down on the floor, then bobbie will barge in.

wah..feels so good..fighting for my attention
makes me feel so appreciated
=)

especially i see nike keep nudging bobbie to play with him...but bobbie is so lazy..must be old age

i hate my dogs
when they run around the house right after i mopped the floor
when they chew my shoes, socks, hairband, door stopper and cloth hangers
when i yelled for bobbie, nike came instead and vice versa

my boss asked me what do i want to be in the next 5 years time
my real answer : " not to be like you"
of course i wouldnt say that
but she's nice today (only)
she brought me a dumpling....something must be wrong
who knows what did she put in that dumpling?
muahahaha...

many times i want to quit
but the more she thinks poorly of me
the more i want to show to her my capabilities
sounds silly hor?
must perservere !
=p

SHIT

TO MY BOSS :

YOU THIS BLOODY OLD WITCH

SOMETIMES I REALLY WANT TO NAIL THAT SICKENING TWISTED SMILE ON YOUR FACE TO THE FRONT GLASS DOORS
YOURS WORDS ARE ALWAYS DRIPPING WITH SO MUCH SARCASM
ITS FLOODING THE OFFICE
NO WONDER ALL YOUR PREVIOUS STAFF WORKED HERE LESS THAN A WEEK
I BET YOU GOT A DEGREE IN RIDICULING RIGHT?

I MUST REALLY BE PROUD OF MYSELF FOR TOLERATING YOU FOR THE PAST 1 MONTH PLUS
"why must you double check? You're wasting so much time.."
SO THAT I WONT MAKE ANY MISTAKES AND GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO THROW MORE SHIT AT ME
UNDERSTAND??

AND PLEASE, FOR GOODNESS SAKE
SINCE YOU HATE POLY GRADUATES SO MUCH
NEXT TIME, JUST STATE YOU WANT ALEVEL STUDENTS AND DEGREE HOLDERS
YOU THIS FARKING BITCH
ENTERING A POLYTECHINIC OR JC HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ONE'S PARENTS QUALIFICATIONS OR FAMILY BACKGROUND
SO STOP ASSUMING SO MUCH
BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER EVER BECOME A PARENT

IT IS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU, ALWAYS PUTTING OTHERS DOWN , SCROFFING AT OTHER'S MISTAKES
MAKES THE WORLD SUCH A LESS FRIENDLIER PLACE TO STAY IN

I'M NOT LIKE YOU. I GOT OTHER THINGS TO DO, FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME WITH
I'M NOT LIKE YOU. I CANT STAY IN THE OFFICE 24/7.
I AM STILL YOUNG. YOU ARE NOT. OLD WOMAN
I AM NOT READY TO BE A WORKAHOLIC ..YET
NOT FOR YOU , NOT FOR THE COMPANY
I WOULDNT BE COMMITTED TO THIS JOB..
BECAUSE ITS YOU WHO IS MAKING ME TO HATE THIS JOB
NOTICE I WORE JEANS TO WORK?
I'M NOT SHOWING RESPECT FOR YOU , FOR THIS COMPANY
YOU THINK I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT'S OFFICE ETIQUETTE?
PUI !

YOU SET UP THIS COMPANY YOURSELF
YOU ARE FILTHY RICH ( OF COURSE, SINCE YOU GOT NO HUSBAND/CHILDREN..haha )
YOU SPEAK FLUENT CANTONESE ( you think i dont even know how to speak a single word of canto too huh?)
YOU THINK YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT
YOU THINK YOU ARE DAMN SMART . ALWAYS INSISTING TO USE YOUR OWN METHODS
FINE ..STILL ASK FOR MY OPINIONS ..WHAT FOR?
THEN YOU JUST LAUGH THEM OFF AND SAY "THANKS ANYWAY.."
SINCE I GOT NO PARTICIPATING RIGHTS
DONT ASK ME THEN. I GOT NOTHING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

BEING SILENT DOESNT MEAN I CAN BE EASILY PUSHED AROUND
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I PROVED YOU WRONG?
SHAMELESS....
WONT ADMIT TO YOUR OWN MISTAKES

YOU THINK I LOVE USING YOUR OUTLOOK EXPRESS AR?
HEARD OF GMAIL?
HEARD OF YAHOO MAIL?

SO WHO'S SPENDING AN HOUR TO TOUCH UP 10 PICTURES?
YOU WANT SPEED?
GO UPGRADE YOUR LOUSY MACS !
AN EMAC IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH

OH YA
YOU ARE NOT GETTING YOUNGER
WELL I CANT BLAME YOU FOR BEING SO MEAN
BUT WHY YOU DONT ACCEPT THOSE MALE APPLICANTS WHO ASK FOR THE JOB?
DISCRIMINATION AGAINST MEN?
GOOD .. STAY THE SAME
IT WILL DO MEN SOME GOOD

Running

can someone go running with me please?
i need running/joggin kakis

preferably after 7pm
Most free on mondays, tuesdays & fridays
night cycling trips are also welcome ( avaliable during fridays and weekends)

oh ya mr HL
6pm at Funan
dress nicely hor!!!

i did something wrong today
sigh
i so despise myself for being so silly
but i cant helped it
*shrugs*
mad.. please WAKE UP !!!!!! *bang my head against the wall*
i forgot i got to clear the weekend newspapers on mondays

a friend bluffed me
he said he's goin for a sex change..

Madelyne says: then when are u goin for it?
Madelyne says: u got enough money?
C says: got
Madelyne says: u're not bluffin me right?
C says: yup
Madelyne says: hmm
Madelyne says: why the sudden decision?
C says: u silly
C says: i joking la
Madelyne says: ...

pretty annoying hor??
too think i got so overly excited..
what..
your friend is tellin you an important life& death decision he/she has made
shouldnt you be suportive?

you know, sometimes i go " Hi ! hehehe.. "
people will ask me " wah why so happy?"
sayin hehehe means you are happy ?
if its so easy... i shall say that a millionbillionzillionhillion times every single day
as simple as that
i got my reasons for being unhappy
i just love findin faults with myself
i just love imagining things to make myself feeling silly
i just love believing in fairy tales
Mad.. once again..can you please wake up?
Most friends around me are happy optimistic, strong
so under the the peer pressure, sometimes you have to plaster this happy smile on your face
no lah..i not that pessimistic
=)
try facing a boss who talks to you in this manner :
" i told you , this design is not nice at all"
"i just knew you cant finish this ..see !"
" thats the difference between poly & jc students"
" why cant u use this method to touch up the pics?"
"how come you so dark ar?"
" i dont care..better redo this"
" why u so SUKU??? "
" you are such a slow learner.."
" if you wanna quit..say so. DONT WASTE MY TIME"
" you are not worth paying 1.2k !"
" studyin media & arts are difficult in sg..esp people like you so SUKU.. hw to survive in that industry?"
=(
*sulk*
*frown*
*cries*

Shopping

i am falling in love with shopping
i bought another pair of sandals
it matches well with my top
*beams*

i guess
i'll get a new pair of heels next month

elson, steph and i went walking around chinatown the whole day
find ourselves gettin excited over the vintage items we saw at the flea market

i ought to shoot myself
i sent 50+ sms to adelyn
just because i didnt lock my keypad

plannin to have a small adventure on my own ( dont say i didnt let anyone know )
maybe after my birthday
seems like everyone is heading to thailand..i wont be surprised if you bump into someone familiar
if i were to go india again
i'll definitely bring more food than clothings

I met alot of people today

i was late...for my swimming lesson..
" how come i didnt see you last week?"
"Oh you had a fall..what happened??"
"fell off from my bicycle" was my meek reply
"oh so poor thing.. "

Bloody hell...just shap ur mouth !

i placed my bag on the ground ..
"eh dont put there..i get the folding chair for u ..you can put ur belongings on it "

how sweet...
i felt slightly uncomfortable as i see him pulling the chair towards my direction
..
sigh..
oh please mad, stop imagining too much

After few laps, i noticed a guy keep staring at me..
no i mean smiling at me!

...i want some peace..please??

"Mad!"
it was....steven chua
one of the seniors from mei chin sec
i chatted with him for awhile ..and then i spotted another familiar face
he's from mcss too
he still got that cheeky face
Lincoln - my very first crush
he must have realized i was staring at him ..cause he was looking back at me too..
then i did something very silly
i waved my hand and said " remember me? i'm from mcss too!"
i would have died from embarassement if his reply was a no
apparently he remembered my face..not my name

" Orh... you are the girl that hangs out with jasmine they all right?"
" i remembered that time you like me hor?"

umm..yea..

" i think you look great now "

=) thanks

after my swim, i headed down to Yashi's place
had my bath there
grumble on my own mistake
stood in front of the fan for 5 mins for my shirt to dry
i shall leave out the details on why i went all the way to her place to shower

borrowed another 2 books
bought a pair of tommy hilfiger pants and a sequined tube top

i have to say
i got a festish for sequined clothings

Chatted with Yashi..
mainly on how stupid & harsh men can be, how heartbroken we women can get, how positive we shall be.
indeed, friendships are more important than relationships
i took that risk and suffered heavily
she want to be able do things alone.. like me
actually , it's really unhealthy
i'm not that independent , serious
i just dont want to be back in the "self-indulgent pity" situation anymore
i just dont want to
i can never be the same old madelyne again

met Qj to return her camera
she looked so different from the last i remembered her

next..meet my Xiang Gong!
i passed him the asp.net cds
bought ourselves large slurpee and chatted ...
sitting right in front of the high court..thats the high court right?
facing the padang field
i think i did a lot of chatting today

yay
gonna meet steph n elson tomorrow
take more pictures
i shall skip the "cleaning house day" for tomorrow

chocolate butter cookies~
*Munch Munch*
i'm going to feel extremely guilty later

anyway... i just swept the floor
i mopped the kitchen floor
i shall just tidy my room tomorrow morning

see i really make a good housewife right?